So this entry I’d like to highlight the importance of hobbies and socialising. Right now I’m not in the best mood I’m angry, frustrated and anxious and being at work dealing with customers is the last thing I need right now. One other thing I have noticed with depression is that I feel ready to explode at the slightest provocation or perceived provocation. I’ve stopped caring about a lot of things and so my verbal filter get’s relaxed as exampled by the slight bust up I had with my mum last night. Anyways on to hobbies and socialising.
In my last depression entry I mentioned how it can feel like being encased in a block of ice, this time I’d like to use a different analogy. I was thinking that my depression feels a bit like being a kite dragged along the floor trying to fly. It’s uncomfortable, painful and a bit embarrassing. All I wanna do is fly and yet I can’t get that lift I need to get me into the air. This is where hobbies and socialising can come in.
I have found that the times I forget about all of the crap is when I’m with friends doing something fun. For me it’s a weekly board game group and at least one game of D&D a week. As I said I’m currently in a very bad mood and I’m worried how that might progress but the bright side? Today is Thursday and that means D&D. These hobbies are the wind that help lift me into the air and let me fly. Everything else gets left behind on the ground and I’m free to soar and laugh and truly enjoy myself.
Depression quite often makes us want to hide away from the world and be alone. It is an awful, awful cycle of feeling bad and taking action that at best, won’t make us feel worse. We want to crawl into a ball in the dark, while our problems and issues and sources of anxiety continue to linger and haunt us. Finding a hobby that includes a social component has the ability to help us truly forget those problems and relax. It can be difficult and we may really not want to do it but if we can get over the one little bump, that little voice that says “not today”, you find more often then not that within 5 minutes all that fear is gone and you are laughing and smiling uncontrollably.
Something this experience has taught me is how much I appreciate these nights and how much I rely on them. There is definitely a time to be alone and reflect and think, but if it wasn’t for these week nights and the people in them, I don’t know where I’d be.